If only it were just about the birds and the bees.

  So here is a rundown of how my "dramatic" IUI games began. First of all, a little education on what IUI means.  Basically, it is artificial insemination.  There are 3 types of IUI: natural (no drugs), Clomid cycle (pills you take to help ovulation), and Gonal F (lovely shots you take in your stomach).  Once you are are "ready" to ovulate, your hubbie shows up in the morning to turn in his swimmers (I will leave it at that).  The "hopeful" mommy to be shows up in the middle of the day.  Then, you have a romantic interlude with your fertility doctor, his nurse, and your husband in the doctor's office wide awake where the swimmers are transferred into the uterus. It is super intimate...NOT!!!  You wait 10-14 days, and then you take a prego test.  Easy right...maybe for some, but for me, not so much.  So here is my first IUI rendezvous... Round 1: Players involved: In corner #1: Clomid - serious "Cray-Cray" pills In corner #2: Gonal

I am a bad story teller...I have left everyone hanging.  I know you guys have been holding  your breath for the rest of the "story".  For those of you who are still alive and have great lungs, here is a continuation from Operation Impregnation.... Quick recap: I tried everything under the sun at home and with Dr. Funny guy in November 2010.  I gave up on Dr. Funny Guy because he was not giving me the depth/time I needed.  I decided to try another OBGYN.  She was awesome.  Dr. Awesome sat down with me for an entire hour to talk about my history.  Going into the appointment, I thought Dr. Awesome was going to give me a prescription for Clomid and I was outta there.  Not so much.  Dr. Awesome explained that since I was already ovulating that the Clomid was useless and with my history I needed to see a specialist and Jeff needed to be tested.  Jeff's test results came back very good.  They examine morphology (shape), speed, and are they going in the right direction. 

I am back...sorry for being MIA.  I know I owe you the rest of the story that leads up to to the present.  And I promise, I will (eventually) get there.  I cannot move forward until I share what has happened in the last two months... I recently went through my second round of IVF (April - May).  Just in case, you are not down with the fertility lingo, IVF is I n V itro F ertilization process.  In summation: lots of shots and hormones, surgically pull out your eggs, fertilize them in a lab, and transfer them back in.  Promise more details later. After all the ups and downs, we found out that we got another negative pregnancy test.  I believed it was going to be easier on the second round.  And, I thought I would be able to handle the negative pregnancy test better on round two.  I was seriously wrong.  The past month has been excruciating.  I do not know how to explain it.  It has been one of my darkest times.  I have not talked to anyone, not shared my fears, not wanted to hear o

Our first year of trying looking back was definitely a learning curve.  We knew the gist of how to get pregnant, but until we started REALLY trying, it was a little more involved than what we learned back in 5th grade.  Everyone tries to give you their little tips and "tricks" of the trade.  DECEMBER & JANUARY Method: We followed Dr. Funny Guy's advice the first two months, where he instructed us to engage in intercourse every other day.  If you are married, that is SUPER aggressive.  Result: No baby Emotion: No biggie...but I am super tired from Dr. Funny Guy's intense pregnancy plan.  FEBRUARY Method: Ovulation Sticks and trying to track days by ovulation (see below). Result: No Baby. Emotion: A little annoyed, but I am glad that I did ovulate.  I was cheap and got the tests that show lines versus the smiley face.  Definitely recommend the smiley face ones if you are like me and over analyze.  MARCH - MAY Method: Ovulation Monitor (yeah, I am g

(WARNING: This is a continued entry from my last blog.  So, unless you are one of "those" people that like reading the last page of the book first, read my blog prior to this one to get the DL.) After getting out of the hospital, the hospital said it was super important to see my doctor the next day to discuss next steps, so I get an appointment with Dr. Funny Guy.  We arrive at Dr. Funny Guy's office.  At this point, I am drugged, tired, in crazy pain, and have little patience.  Pretty picture, right.    Jeff and I meet with Dr Funny guy and he gives us his best performance yet.  After Dr. Funny guy reviews the book of papers the hospital gave us, we are summoned.  Dr. Funny Guy:   Jeff, sounds like "someone" (points to me) didn't enjoy their Turkey Day weekend? Me: No, Dr. Funny Guy.  What the heck is going on? Dr. Funny Guy: (looks at Jeff) Jeff, basically  she had several ovarian cysts that have simultaneously ruptured.  Apparently,  she

It is the end of 2009.  During this year, I have gotten married, discovered I have endometriosis, recovered from my laparoscopic procedure, dealt with a crazy economy where I had to learn to live on a budget, and Jeff and I have just purchased our first home together.  It was a life changing year for the two of us, to say the least. It is late November and we have just settled in our new home, and we start thinking about "Baby Ridlen".  We decide the best month to start is January, after the holidays.  For Thanksgiving, we head off to see our grandparents in Abilene for the day with my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and my brother.   I love Thanksgiving...you get to eat your face off and nobody judges (well not totally).  My grandmother has the table beautifully set, the kitchen smells wonderful, everyone is getting ready to say the prayer, and I suddenly become super sick.  Side note: I always get made fun of because I always overeat at family meals because my mom's

I met Yazzel through my sweet friend, Peggy.  Yazzel reached out to me when she heard I was going through fertility troubles.  She has been an inspiration and my guidance counselor  over the past couple of months.  She was one of the very few people I knew that actually went through the IVF cycle.  It was so refreshing to sit down with her and talk to someone that knew what I was going through and tell me what to expect.  I also got the opportunity to hear about Yazzel's story and how she made it through 4 years of this process.  I have asked that Yazzel share her story... Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This bible verse is what got me and my husband through 4 rough years of infertility.  Being told time after time that my egg reserve was extremely low and the quality was no good, that my chances of getting pregnant were slim (nearly impossible) ev

My laparoscopic surgery was done at an out patient hospital.    Two days prior to my surgery, I had to do pre-op where they take your blood and give you the run down of what is about to happen.  On the day of the surgery, I checked in around 9:00 and my surgery was set for 11:00.  I signed my life away and paid a hefty little fee for what my not so great insurance would not cover. I am going to take a quick detour for a second because I thought this was pretty cool.  At the time, it was 2009 and the recession was in full swing and my industry got hit really hard.  I was a straight commission sales rep., so needless to say, I was not rolling in the dough.   When I found out that this surgery was going to cost me over $1200, I was not totally sure of the timing.  Jeff assured me to not worry and that is why we have savings.  One week prior to my surgery, I randomly get a bonus check for guess how much?!?!?  You guessed right (of if you didn't, no need to admit it)...right over $1

Fast forward from my last blog on the birds and the bees to 2009.  Jeff and I had just gotten married, and we were enjoying the honeymoon stage...if you know what I mean.  I started to notice that intercourse was really painful.  I ignored it and just thought it would go away.  A couple months later, the pain was still there, so Jeff suggested I go see the doctor.  I was super embarrassed to talk to the doctor about my painful sex life, especially since he was a dude.  My doctor at the time was a young guy that tries to make awkward checkups more comfortable by using humor.  He is the doctor that calls our lady part a "va-j-j"..seriously, not kidding.  The visits were always short and to the point which at this stage in life I appreciated, since I have never felt really comfortable about anything that involved my lady parts.  Many of you know how modest I am. So, I go in and he talks to me for awhile.  I have to describe exactly the pain I was feeling in excruciating de

Check out Proverbs 31 devotional today...it is awesome!  http://devotions.proverbs31.org/ You can subscribe to receive daily devotionals to your email.  I highly recommend this daily encouragment. I was feeling beyond stressed today with work.  After reading through this devotion before I headed out today, it made me feel BEYOND STRONG .    Feel free to post in comment section what you were feeling today and what "BEYOND" statement you feel after reading God's promise. XOXO

We did not do any fertility treatments this month, but tried at home with ovulation.  Jeff's birthday was last Wednesday and I was a couple of days late, so I took a test right before he got home in hopes I would have a special birthday surprise for him.  I know that there is only a 1-2% chance of me getting pregnant without fertility help, but I still feel a small glimmer of hope.  So, when the stick says, "no, not right now", it still breaks my heart.  Does it ever get easier, and why not right now. How much longer do I have to wait?  It has been over 2 years... After reading my blog, my dear childhood friend, Leslie Bunt, sent me a very encouraging verse last week.  Since ancient times, no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways. Isaiah 64:4-5b Leslie went on to say, "Also, after I read your blog, a song I

Not sure how it went down for you in 5th grade.  But, that year at Birdwell Elementary, we were separated into boys and girls.  The girls had to go into Mrs. Perry's class, while the boys stayed in Mrs. Boseley's class.  They proceed to play a video, and our good old friend from "Annie" tells the girls about the birds and the bees.  Our favorite red headed orphan explained our bodies and the basics of how a baby is made in a simplistic approach that a 5th grader could understand.  Pretty straight forward. Fast forward to 9th grade at Robert E Lee High School in Health class...we get separated into boys and girls again. As we head to a different room, I remember thinking, "Seriously, I think Annie already covered the basics. I think we are mature enough to handle being with the boys" (because I was so grown up/mature - NOT).  As the video starts, it goes into an overview of our anatomies and the biological details of reproduction.  No biggie...right?  Then

Me : I am 34 and live in Dallas.  I am a Christian and have been happily married for almost 3 years!!!  I sell Foodservice Equipment and love it.  We volunteer in the high school youth group, and I keep busy with dance classes.  Jeff is my sweet husband.  We met through a set-up by my best friend Vivian.  We actually met at Texas A&M, but never really knew each other.  Crazy enough, Vivian found a picture of the 3 of us in Study Breaks magazine (where to go out in College Station when you are are not studying - I know this may be shocking to you that know me well).  God must have been looking down and laughing that we would be together 10 years later.  Anyways, I digress, we met in early March, in premarital counseling by June, engaged by late August, and married on January 24 in 2009!!!  Everything happened so fast.  He was so worth the wait.  Jeff is the kindest, most humble, loving husband I could have dreamed of.  If you are single, I am seriously living proof that waiting fo

Two years ago, my husband and I tried to conceive Baby Ridlen.  In the past few years, I had the lovely opportunity to undergo: multiple trips to ER, hormones raging, Clomid, IUI, crazy ovarian cysts, endometriosis, a million shots, a lost ovary, a failed IVF cycle, and sadly the list goes on. I wish I could give you a happy ending today saying that Baby Ridlen was conceived after all this. Well, that is not how the cookie crumbled.    On top of all this, it seemed all my friends have been able to to conceive over the past two years. I always joke that if you hang out with me...you will get pregnant.  More than likely you will get prego just by reading this blog (seriously...you never know). This journey has been totally eye opening. I have never felt so not in control, uninformed, frustrated, sad, neurotic, fearful, depressed and crazy before in my life. What if I will never be a mom? Should I give up? After I found out my IVF cycle was not successful, I went into a deep depress