If only it were just about the birds and the bees.

We did not do any fertility treatments this month, but tried at home with ovulation.  Jeff's birthday was last Wednesday and I was a couple of days late, so I took a test right before he got home in hopes I would have a special birthday surprise for him.  I know that there is only a 1-2% chance of me getting pregnant without fertility help, but I still feel a small glimmer of hope.  So, when the stick says, "no, not right now", it still breaks my heart.  Does it ever get easier, and why not right now. How much longer do I have to wait?  It has been over 2 years... After reading my blog, my dear childhood friend, Leslie Bunt, sent me a very encouraging verse last week.  Since ancient times, no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways. Isaiah 64:4-5b Leslie went on to say, "Also, after I ...

Not sure how it went down for you in 5th grade.  But, that year at Birdwell Elementary, we were separated into boys and girls.  The girls had to go into Mrs. Perry's class, while the boys stayed in Mrs. Boseley's class.  They proceed to play a video, and our good old friend from "Annie" tells the girls about the birds and the bees.  Our favorite red headed orphan explained our bodies and the basics of how a baby is made in a simplistic approach that a 5th grader could understand.  Pretty straight forward. Fast forward to 9th grade at Robert E Lee High School in Health class...we get separated into boys and girls again. As we head to a different room, I remember thinking, "Seriously, I think Annie already covered the basics. I think we are mature enough to handle being with the boys" (because I was so grown up/mature - NOT).  As the video starts, it goes into an overview of our anatomies and the biological ...

Me : I am 34 and live in Dallas.  I am a Christian and have been happily married for almost 3 years!!!  I sell Foodservice Equipment and love it.  We volunteer in the high school youth group, and I keep busy with dance classes.  Jeff is my sweet husband.  We met through a set-up by my best friend Vivian.  We actually met at Texas A&M, but never really knew each other.  Crazy enough, Vivian found a picture of the 3 of us in Study Breaks magazine (where to go out in College Station when you are are not studying - I know this may be shocking to you that know me well).  God must have been looking down and laughing that we would be together 10 years later.  Anyways, I digress, we met in early March, in premarital counseling by June, engaged by late August, and married on January 24 in 2009!!!  Everything happened so fast.  He was so worth the wait.  Jeff is the kindest, mo...

Two years ago, my husband and I tried to conceive Baby Ridlen.  In the past few years, I had the lovely opportunity to undergo: multiple trips to ER, hormones raging, Clomid, IUI, crazy ovarian cysts, endometriosis, a million shots, a lost ovary, a failed IVF cycle, and sadly the list goes on. I wish I could give you a happy ending today saying that Baby Ridlen was conceived after all this. Well, that is not how the cookie crumbled.    On top of all this, it seemed all my friends have been able to to conceive over the past two years. I always joke that if you hang out with me...you will get pregnant.  More than likely you will get prego just by reading this blog (seriously...you never know). This journey has been totally eye opening. I have never felt so not in control, uninformed, frustrated, sad, neurotic, fearful, depressed and crazy before in my life. What if I will never be a mom? Should I give up? After I found out my IVF cycle was not successfu...