Operation Impregnation

Our first year of trying looking back was definitely a learning curve.  We knew the gist of how to get pregnant, but until we started REALLY trying, it was a little more involved than what we learned back in 5th grade.  Everyone tries to give you their little tips and "tricks" of the trade. 

DECEMBER & JANUARY
Method: We followed Dr. Funny Guy's advice the first two months, where he instructed us to engage in intercourse every other day.  If you are married, that is SUPER aggressive. 
Result: No baby
Emotion: No biggie...but I am super tired from Dr. Funny Guy's intense pregnancy plan. 

FEBRUARY
Method: Ovulation Sticks and trying to track days by ovulation (see below).
Result: No Baby.
Emotion: A little annoyed, but I am glad that I did ovulate.  I was cheap and got the tests that show lines versus the smiley face.  Definitely recommend the smiley face ones if you are like me and over analyze. 

MARCH - MAY
Method: Ovulation Monitor (yeah, I am getting fancy here)
Result: No baby
Emotion: Monitor was super cool.  Much more advanced.  Kinda shocked that it did not work the first two times.


JUNE - JULY
Method: Ovulation Monitor, Asprin once every morning
Result: No baby
Emotion: My friend told me about the Asprin thing.  It did not do jack, but I am willing to try anything.  Starting to get frustrated.

AUGUST
Method: Ovulation Monitor, and no lubrication...Yes, I said it.  If you do not know this, PLEASE read that LUBRICATION can kill the sperm.  (P.S. I am not saying lubrication should be the only means of prevention of pregnancy)
Result: No baby.
Emotion: Super annoyed that NOBODY told me that lubrication is no bueno for baby making, but encouraged that MAYBE that is why I am not getting pregnant!

SEPT - JANUARY
Method: Ovulation Monitor and would try ANY advice others recommended
Result: NO BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emotion: UH OH...looks like there is a problem.  Super scared and know that I need to schedule an appointment with a specialist. 

Ovulation - Nancy's Quick Crash Course

1. Ovulation is the process that prepares your body for pregnancy.  It is basically where your ovary releases an egg in hopes that it will get "lucky" and get fertilized.
2. You only can get pregnant during ovulation which is anywhere around 24-48 hours.  How people get randomly pregnant...I have no idea. 
3. There are several methods to this madness:
1. Taking your temperature when you first get up in the morning - it will spike when you ovulate and keep at the higher temp if you are prego.
2. Using Ovulation Sticks/Monitor - take the sticks every morning and it will indicate when you are about to have your "surge" of ovulation.  You normally take these every morning. 
3. Some people use those calendars online...I do not recommend them and I will tell you why in the next point
4. Your body typically follows a pattern.  It is important to track the days to learn when you ovulate and when to take a test.  At first, I was basing it on the month.  For example: I started on Dec 2nd, and then I would think I was late or prego if I did not start on Jan 2nd.  This does not work for me because my cycle can last for up to 37 days....so this is no bueno, and can be a HUGE let down. 
5. Here is how to track your ovulation pattern:
1. You start counting the days on when you first start your period.  If it is before noon, it is day 1.  If it is after noon, you start the next day as day 1.
2. Keep track with ovulation sticks or a monitor.  Write down the day(s) you ovulate.
3. Write down the day you start your next period.
4. Keep doing this for a couple of months.
5. You will see a pattern - I ovulate around Day 21 and start on Day 35.   
6. Your pattern will differ from others...sometimes people ovulate early in the month and some will later.  Some will have a 28 day cycle, others like me might have a 35 day cycle. 
6. When to "do it"
1. Some people recommend every other day...Dr Funny Guy.  The sperm actually sticks around for around 48 hours.
2. Others recommend intercourse every day during the ovulation time...sometimes multiple times per day.
3. I have heard this can work both ways...my advice is trial and error.  Your hubbie will not complain. 
4. Try to not tell your hubbie days of ovulation or make things more romantic.  This will make things more natural and he will not feel so "used" or "cheap"....hahaha.    

Overwhelmed or confused?!?!  No worries.  I was, too.  But, it really does start to make sense after you try a couple of months. 

Obviously, I am not pregnant, so I am no expert.  However, my doctors recommend that I try for at least a year before you see a specialist.  In my world, if you are going to see a specialist, trying equals tracking ovulation.  If you do not track and see a specialist...you are basically throwing away dinero.  When I went to see a specialist, he asked me these questions: when do you ovulate, how many months have you been tracking ovulation, how many days are your cycle? 

I tell you all of this not to spoil the fun part of baby making, but if your carefree ways are not working and you do not know why and the clock is ticking...there are ways to track this and figure out the method to the madness.

Turkey Day Gone Totally Wrong (continued)

(WARNING: This is a continued entry from my last blog.  So, unless you are one of "those" people that like reading the last page of the book first, read my blog prior to this one to get the DL.)

After getting out of the hospital, the hospital said it was super important to see my doctor the next day to discuss next steps, so I get an appointment with Dr. Funny Guy. 

We arrive at Dr. Funny Guy's office.  At this point, I am drugged, tired, in crazy pain, and have little patience.  Pretty picture, right.   Jeff and I meet with Dr Funny guy and he gives us his best performance yet.  After Dr. Funny guy reviews the book of papers the hospital gave us, we are summoned. 

Dr. Funny Guy: 
Jeff, sounds like "someone" (points to me) didn't enjoy their Turkey Day weekend?

Me:
No, Dr. Funny Guy.  What the heck is going on?

Dr. Funny Guy: (looks at Jeff)
Jeff, basically she had several ovarian cysts that have simultaneously ruptured.  Apparently, she had one on Thanksgiving and a fireworks display this weekend.  One of the cysts ruptured inside her ovary, causing it to quadruple in size.  It is pushing on all her organs, that is why she is experiencing so much pain.  We can operate to bring back to normal size, but since she already has scar tissue from her endoscopy, I think it is best that we let it go down naturally. 

Me: 
So, what does that look like?  Why is all of this happening to me?  Do I need to see a specialist?  Does this have anything to do with my endometriosis?  Why have I been in the hospital twice in one year?

Dr. Funny Guy: 
This was a freak incident...nothing to get your panties in a wad about.  In regards to recovery, you will experience crazy pain and just taking a lot of pain medication to get you through it. 

Jeff, it is like getting hit in the testicles over and over again (he seriously said this...no exaggeration). 

Me:
Back to me, Dr Funny Guy.  You have got to shoot me straight.  Should I see a specialist?

Dr. Funny Guy:
Nah...you are good. 

Me:
Should we start trying for a baby...I am getting a little nervous. 

Dr. Funny Guy: 
Sure....just have sex every other day.  Times up...see you later.

(This again is a dramatic interpretation of how I felt like things went down, and this is a summarized version of two follow-up appointments.)

No standing ovation from me. 

First of all, I had gone through a terrifying experience and felt more confused than when I walked in. 

Second, he was more interested in entertaining my husband and describing how I was feeling instead of explaining to me what was going on with my body...I am pretty sure that Jeff got the picture by going through this experience with me.  It was as if I was not in the room.

Third, in retrospect, multiple ovarian cysts that rupture are a serious problem and he should have turned me over to a specialist.  

Lastly, after knowing all I know now, we needed alot more "baby making" guidance than just "have sex every other day".  I am sure he did that for Jeff's benefit, as I am pretty sure he was solely trying to win his affections.

This event served as our catalyst to begin trying for Baby Ridlen.  I knew deep down something was not right and we should start sooner than later.  I wish I could tell you that my ovarian cyst issue was an isolated incident, but as you will find out later, my ovarian cysts have not been my friend over the past two years, and I even lost an ovary due to these monsters.  

My advice is that if you have "girl" problems/questions that your OBGYN cannot answer, see a specialist.  And, most important, if you are ever doubled over in pain, do not wait...get to an ER.  Don't be a hero.  The pain is similar to appendicitis and kidney stones.  If you clear these two, ask for a sonogram. 

Turkey Day Gone Totally Wrong.

It is the end of 2009.  During this year, I have gotten married, discovered I have endometriosis, recovered from my laparoscopic procedure, dealt with a crazy economy where I had to learn to live on a budget, and Jeff and I have just purchased our first home together.  It was a life changing year for the two of us, to say the least.

It is late November and we have just settled in our new home, and we start thinking about "Baby Ridlen".  We decide the best month to start is January, after the holidays. 

For Thanksgiving, we head off to see our grandparents in Abilene for the day with my mom, sister, brother-in-law, and my brother.   I love Thanksgiving...you get to eat your face off and nobody judges (well not totally).  My grandmother has the table beautifully set, the kitchen smells wonderful, everyone is getting ready to say the prayer, and I suddenly become super sick. 

Side note: I always get made fun of because I always overeat at family meals because my mom's cooking is unreal and get sick later...it is my trademark.  But, to get sick before the meal?!?! Not fair.  Seriously.  This is not shocking to anyone in my family, and probably to most of you reading, because if you have known me for more than a minute, you know I get stomach aches ALOT. 

I go in one of the bedrooms and curl up into a ball.  The pain is super intense and I take a ton of Alleve, but nothing works.  I finally pass out and sleep through all Thanksgiving lunch.  I wake up and I feel ok.  And so we head back to Dallas that night.  I think that this must be my endometriosis acting up again, and it was just really bad cramps.

Saturday, we decide to put up our Christmas tree.  I am so excited because although Thanksgiving was a let-down, I will make it up with Christmas.  I have the Christmas music blaring, and I begin to get out the ornaments.  Halfway into my decorating, Jeff says he is going to Costco.  I love trips to Costco, so I put the decorations down to go find some "good deals" with him.  It is about 2:30.

We decide to go to the closest Costco to our house, which is always so crowded and it takes a year to find a parking space.  Anyways, we finally find a parking spot, get a cart and start filling up the cart, and all the sudden I double over in pain.  This was literally the worst pain I have ever experienced.  I tell Jeff I have to go the car and we need to go now.  I am doubled over walking to Jeff's car and lay in the backseat waiting for him.  Jeff is rushing to put up our awesome steaks and our wine steals...he knows this must be bad if I insist on rushing out on all of our Costco goodies. 

The best I can describe the pain is this: it was on my right side, similar to Thanksgiving, but it was more intense.  I also had severe pain in my back.  I could not get comfortable no matter what position I was in.  The pain was so intense that it made me nauseous and I started throwing up.  I was thinking this would make me feel better.  Not so much!  It only made me sicker, and I could not stop throwing up, while I felt zero relief.  In the meantime, Jeff did not know what to do and ran up to the drugstore.  He brought me back a bunch of medicine which I tried, and nothing worked.  

Poor Jeff had no idea what to do, so he finally called my mom, and she told us to go to an emergency clinic.  By this time, it was late Saturday afternoon.  The wait to see a doctor was one hour.  I was so uncomfortable and I kept running to the bathroom vomiting.  After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor finally saw me and did an X-ray on me and blood work.  They had no clue.  AWESOME...now we get to go the ER and wait.  In the meantime, it was about 9:00.  I beg the doc in the box to please give me a shot to kill the pain.  Nothing.  I feel no relief.

We race to the ER which I wanted to avoid since it was a Saturday night and the wait was going to be terrible.  At this point, I am bawling my eyes out, dry heaving, and still feel like someone is stabbing me nonstop.  Luckily, they get me to the back quickly.  I am BEGGING for pain relief.  They finally get me hooked up to an IV with the good stuff.  Finally, some relief after over 6 hours of being in miserable pain!  The bad news is that after all my blood work nobody knows what is going on.  They are thinking gallstones or appendicitis.  So, I get my first cat scan.  After that, they rule out appendicitis.   In the meantime, while waiting for the sonogram specialist, my dad shows up.  All the sudden, my dad notices that I am turning gray and the machines all start beeping.  My blood pressure was plummeting.  I am so freaked out at this point.  What the heck is going on?!?!  Doctors and nurses rush in and do their magic, and I am steady again. 

The sonogram specialists finally arrive, and I pass out for most of the examination.  To their surprise, they discover that I had multiple overly large ovarian cysts that were rupturing.  They can see evidence of one that ruptured a couple of days prior (Thanksgiving...see there was a point to that part of my story).  And, apparently, one of the cysts had ruptured inside my ovary.  Hence, why I was in so much pain.   

Moral of this story: if you are ever doubled over because of pain, go to the ER.  Do not wait until you are completely dehydrated and endure this type of pain 6 hours without a doctor.  

I finally get released from the hospital at 6:00 a.m. with a ton of prescriptions for pain killers, and strict instructions to contact my doctor first thing to see if he wants to operate on the ovary that is the size of a grapefruit.   In the meantime, I still have a couple of cysts left on my ovary that may/may not explode.  I am so exhausted, that I have not even processed what has happened, and I just want to go home and sleep.

More on the next post...have a wonderful day! 

PS: Thanks to all who have reached out to me via comments, Facebook, emails, and messages.  Your encouragement  (uplifting words and scripture) means so much to me and Jeff.  It helps us girls who are in the "thick" of infertility know that we are not alone in this journey...and most importantly, that we should talk about this.  This blog to date has been so therapeutic for me recovering from my recent failed IVF cycle.  God has given me so much hope...I finally got up the courage to go see my doctor again for next steps (please keep us in your prayers).  More on this later.  It is so exciting to see what He has in store for all of us!!!  XOXO

  
 

Yazzel's story

I met Yazzel through my sweet friend, Peggy.  Yazzel reached out to me when she heard I was going through fertility troubles.  She has been an inspiration and my guidance counselor  over the past couple of months.  She was one of the very few people I knew that actually went through the IVF cycle.  It was so refreshing to sit down with her and talk to someone that knew what I was going through and tell me what to expect.  I also got the opportunity to hear about Yazzel's story and how she made it through 4 years of this process. 

I have asked that Yazzel share her story...

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This bible verse is what got me and my husband through 4 rough years of infertility. 

Being told time after time that my egg reserve was extremely low and the quality was no good, that my chances of getting pregnant were slim (nearly impossible) even if we did invitro, I just knew in my heart that God would eventually bless us with an angel. 

It was a painful journey, but the Lord really does work miracles!  After several failed IUI's, we finally decided to do invitro.  My doctor was actually not impressed with my follicles when it was time for the invitro and he told me "it's up to you if you want to go through this or not; it's not really looking in your favor".  My heart SUNK and I was in tears, but I had a STRONG feeling in my heart that told me YES GO FOR IT! 

And viola! Our little Mateo is here :)  I don't know why God allowed us to go through so much heartache (an expensive one at that!), but whatever His reason is, I have to believe that it was to make me a better person, wife, mother, sister & friend.   

Endometri...what?!?! Part 2

My laparoscopic surgery was done at an out patient hospital.   

Two days prior to my surgery, I had to do pre-op where they take your blood and give you the run down of what is about to happen.  On the day of the surgery, I checked in around 9:00 and my surgery was set for 11:00.  I signed my life away and paid a hefty little fee for what my not so great insurance would not cover.

I am going to take a quick detour for a second because I thought this was pretty cool.  At the time, it was 2009 and the recession was in full swing and my industry got hit really hard.  I was a straight commission sales rep., so needless to say, I was not rolling in the dough.   When I found out that this surgery was going to cost me over $1200, I was not totally sure of the timing.  Jeff assured me to not worry and that is why we have savings.  One week prior to my surgery, I randomly get a bonus check for guess how much?!?!?  You guessed right (of if you didn't, no need to admit it)...right over $1200!!!  I seriously had forgotten about this bonus and was totally blown away of how this was not a coincidence that it was EXACTLY what we needed at the EXACT right time.  God always provides.   

Ok...I am back to the story.  A nurse comes out to lead me to the pre-op room and I am a little nervous.  BTW...my whole family was in tow.  Jeff (obviously), my mom, and my dad and Courtney came for this momentous occasion.  I get to the room and there is a lovely gown and these really cool knee socks that help with circulation (which the nurse let me keep...why not? I just paid $1200 for them).   The best part is when they put me under all the blankets and they were super toasty.

Now the part I hate/love all together...anesthesia.  I hate when they put it in the IV, but LOVE how you get to sleep!!!  Warning...if you ever get anesthesia make sure you ask them for anti-nausea medicine if you think you might get sick.  The worst is getting sick off the anesthesia...I have haunting memories from my tonsils and wisdom teeth when I was little.

So, off I go to the OR and Dr. Funny Guy asks if I had my cocktails yet to make me pass out, and I am not sure what I said, but I was out for the count.  Hope I didn't snore (if you were a medical sales rep and in the room...I do not want to know). 

During the procedure, Dr. Funny Guy cuts a small incision about an inch below my panty line and goes up with a scope to hunt down all the unwanted endometriosis implants.  Once he identifies the implants, he burns them off.   He even threw in a dye test which tests to make sure liquid runs properly through my fallopian tubes.  I am so thankful to him for doing that while I was under because that is one of the first tests they make you do while undergoing fertility...and you are not asleep and can be SUPER uncomfortable. 

I wake up super groggy.  Dr. Funny Guy tells my husband that my recovery time is a couple of days and I should be back to work no problem.  Dr. Funny Guy also proceeded to pull Jeff to the side to say that, "I am sure you are wondering when you can 'do the adult' with your wife.   Please know you will need to wait a couple of weeks (wink, wink)."  Jeff said he was completely red faced and humiliated in front of my parents (as he was certain they knew what Dr. Funny Guy so obviously pulled him aside from the group to tell him in private).  As hot I as I was in my hospital gown, drooling from my deep sleep, and knee socks, I am pretty sure he was not really thinking that he wanted to get on me anytime in the near future.

I WISH the recovery had been as simple and short as my doctor had told us.  Unfortunately, mine was a slower recovery.  I could not sit up straight for 3 days.  I do not think I was able to get off my pain meds for 5 days after my surgery which prevented me from driving, hence prohibited me from going back to work.  Doctor Funny Guy way underplayed the recovery...which I have talked to others that have had similar procedures and like recovery times.  

My mom stayed with me for the next couple of days and took care of me.  So awesome.  I highly recommend someone staying at home with you during the recovery.  Especially, if you have little ones running around.  Do not be a martyr...ask family/friends for help.  
  
The worst and most humiliating part was that my sweet husband had to go pick up an enima for me.  Apparently, the drugs caused this little problem.  This is super terrifying admitting this to the world, but I am putting it all out there, right?!?!?!   Not sure which is worse, telling you guys OR telling your brand new husband.  Jeff and I do not talk bathroom stuff...I find no humor in it and to his knowledge I never go to the bathroom.  Hence, it was pretty bad for me to admit that I needed him to go to the pharmacy for me for this particular purpose.  This actually didn't even work after all the humiliation.  My doctor told me to get this disgusting purple liquid medicine, drink the entire bottle and wait...and lets just say it was a very long and uncomfortable 6-8 hours.

Anyways, I tell you all of this in case you have to experience the wrath of endometriosis.  It was certainly eye opening for me.  Apparently, the endometriosis has about 12-18 months after a laproscopy before it comes back.  In my case, it stayed away for about a year before I felt the symptoms coming back. 

So take aways from all of this:

1. Know the facts about endometriosis:
1. Symptoms include:
1. Severe cramps before and during menstrual cycle
2. Excessive bleeding during menstrual cycle
3. Lower back pain
4. Painful intercourse
5. Infertility
2. See your doctor if you have these symptoms...they are NOT normal!!!
3. It is noncurable, however there are methods to control:
1. birth control
2. laproscopy
3. having a baby
4. You can have a baby!!!  Many people have a baby with this prognosis.
2. You are not alone!  After I discovered I had endometriosis, so many other admitted they had it, too.  Funny, how I had never heard of endometriosis, and next thing I know 30% of my friends know someone or have it themselves. 

Love you all - thanks for letting me share this "lovely experience" with you.

Happy Belated Valentines.
N

Endometri...what?!?! Part 1

Fast forward from my last blog on the birds and the bees to 2009. 

Jeff and I had just gotten married, and we were enjoying the honeymoon stage...if you know what I mean.  I started to notice that intercourse was really painful.  I ignored it and just thought it would go away.  A couple months later, the pain was still there, so Jeff suggested I go see the doctor. 

I was super embarrassed to talk to the doctor about my painful sex life, especially since he was a dude.  My doctor at the time was a young guy that tries to make awkward checkups more comfortable by using humor.  He is the doctor that calls our lady part a "va-j-j"..seriously, not kidding.  The visits were always short and to the point which at this stage in life I appreciated, since I have never felt really comfortable about anything that involved my lady parts.  Many of you know how modest I am.

So, I go in and he talks to me for awhile.  I have to describe exactly the pain I was feeling in excruciating detail.  Then, he examines me.  Sorry to be so graphic, but he applies pressure during the examination and I literally shriek in pain.  He asked me if I have ever felt that kind of pain in any of my examinations.  I think back, and reply yes.  I mean...isn't that part of the examination.  Nobody told me that was abnormal. 

So, here is how our conversation "kinda" went from there...

Doctor Funny Guy: So, in addition to your "va-j-j" hurting during relations with the ball and chain, do you have severe cramps?

Me: Yes.  I have had them most of my life.

Doctor Funny Guy: Describe them.

Me: Double over in pain from them.  Sometimes they are so bad I end up vomiting.  I have severe lower back pain, also. 

Doctor Funny Guy: Do you feel this before your "Aunt Flow" visits?

Me: Yes, I start cramping about a week before I start. 

Doctor Funny Guy: Interesting...I am pretty sure you have what is called "endometriosis"...let me know when you are ready to schedule your laparoscopy.

Me: ENODMETRI...WHAT?!?!?  What the heck is that?

Doctor Funny Guy:  Endometriosis is non curable disease that can prevent pregnancy.  Here is a pamphlet. See ya in surgery! 
(Doctor Funny Guy leaves room).

To the doctor's credit, my doctor stayed a longer to answer some questions...but not much longer.  Again, up until this point in my girl doctor visits, this has worked for me because I have never had anything out of the ordinary.

He leaves and I am thinking...what the heck just happened?  First of all, what is endometriosis, what is a laparoscopy (could barely pronounce it), and I have to schedule surgery?!? 

So, I am in my car, while just finding out I have a disease called "endometriosis".  I call Jeff crying saying I have to have surgery, and I will probably die since I have a noncurable disease.  Not really, but seriously, still have no clue.  I have not had surgery since I was 6 to get my tonsils out. 

I get home and look at the pamphlet.  The pamphlet tells me that endometriosis is basically implants that cling on to your female organs - ovaries, fallopian tubes, etc.  Most of the symptoms are around your menstrual cycle which include: severe cramping before and during, lower back pain, and painful intercourse.  Check, check and check.  Why had I not caught this before?  Why have I never in my life heard about this?  I guess I thought that was just part of being a girl. 

There are several ways to "control" these crazy implants: birth control, pregnancy, laparoscopy, or hysterectomy.  Of course, me being super freaked out thinks life is over and already see myself having to undergo a hysterectomy.  But, I do want kids one day.  God, did you not get the memo that my I had changed my mind about kids?

Let me back up for a second...I was the girl in my 20's who was indifferent about having kids.  It was not that I never saw them in my future, but definitely not dying to have a little one.  Also, I was a little freaked out by them and thought of them as life changers: taking away all the freedom you once had.  I saw my friends have kids and their ability to make plans was now so much harder.  They had to schedule their jobs and lives around kids.  When I turned 30 and then later met Jeff, my attitude changed.  I really could see my life with Jeff and little Jeffy's running around.  How could I not try to pro-create with such a hottie like my husband? 

So, when all this went down, we had just gotten married.  We were dating and engaged for a "hot minute", so I really wanted the first year to be just me and him without trying to have a baby.   We decided to proceed with surgery versus trying to get prego, and my Doctor thought I was way past the option of just trying out birth control.

So, I called my doctor's office to schedule my laparoscopic surgery.  My next entry will tell you how everything went down. 

I am beyond...(fill in blank)

Check out Proverbs 31 devotional today...it is awesome! 

http://devotions.proverbs31.org/

You can subscribe to receive daily devotionals to your email.  I highly recommend this daily encouragment.

I was feeling beyond stressed today with work.  After reading through this devotion before I headed out today, it made me feel BEYOND STRONG.  Feel free to post in comment section what you were feeling today and what "BEYOND" statement you feel after reading God's promise.

XOXO